“I ain’t never done this before, so I’m gonna walk where you walk.”
Words that cannonballed so forcefully into my heart that tears came splashing up through my eyes.
Our former foster son was walking directly behind me on his very first backpacking trip in May of last year. Being from the city, he had never even hiked, let alone spent a night in the woods. I, however, had backpacked and hiked enough to lose count. And, we happened to be walking a trail I knew like the back of my hand. I knew where the hills became slippery, where the enticing detours were which led to nowhere, and where the best shelters and springs could be found.
It was all unfamiliar territory to him.
He decided to copy me—step where I did, avoid what I avoided, go where I went, and follow my footsteps.
I had to recollect myself when he said this because he summarized fatherhood in a single sentence without knowing it.
My eyes became watery partly because I was grieved—this young man didn’t even know his father. He missed all his birthdays. He never taught him to ride a bike, skin a deer, rig a fishing pole, drive a car, or change a tire.
But the overwhelming sense of both privilege and responsibility were to blame for my tears as well. He had entrusted me to lead the way. He watched my every step because he believed I would take the right path.
I think about these wise words all the time, but especially as Father’s Day approaches. Indeed, fatherhood is all about teaching your children how to walk a path they‘ve never walked.
“Train a child in the way he should go,” commanded Solomon of old. This implies that children do not know the way to go. Dads should. The Lord has called us to lead biblically and courageously, leading from the front so that our children can walk behind in confidence, saying, “I ain’t never done this before, so I am gonna walk where you walk.”
Dads, long before our kids listen to our instructions, they watch our lives. Our words, choices, and conduct. They will follow in our footsteps, for better or worse. Let’s make sure we take the right path—the narrow way that leads to everlasting life. Let’s show them the dangers to avoid, the steps worth taking, and where they can find what they need to survive in a sin-cursed world.
Brandon is the pastor of Bandana Baptist Church in Bandana, Kentucky, where he lives with his wife, Dakota, their much-prayed for son, Oliver, and their three dogs. Brandon and Dakota previously served as foster parents through Sunrise Children’s Services of Kentucky. Brandon is also a published author and his Bible Gleanings columns are featured in over sixteen publications throughout Kentucky, Illinois, Tennessee, and Indiana. He is also a devotional contributor for Kentucky Today,a news publication of the Kentucky Baptist Convention, and an editor at Reforming the Heart.
Ancient words that are offensive and oppressive to modern ears. Clear and concise, but often confusing. And it is what Christ compels Christian wives to do:
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18, KJV).
The holy Scripture highlights here that a healthy and holy home requires a humble wife who honors her husband’s headship. Ladies of the Lord ought to lean into their husband’s leadership when he is lovingly leading. No family can fully follow Christ without the wife faithfully following her husband when he is following Christ. A husband can only steer the ship of the family with his wife by his side, holding up his arms when they are weary. A godly and submissive wife is the “we” in the “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15).
Who is Being Spoken To?
The ears that should hear these words and the hearts that should believe and obey them are those of a married woman. Not ladies who are single, dating, or engaged. You are free from compliance with command if you are unmarried, and bound to obey it if you are. Furthermore, God is not talking to husbands or almost-husbands either. Married men, you cannot enforce submission from your wife, and boyfriends and fiancés haven’t even earned it yet.
What is Being Spoken?
But what does this mean? It doesn’t mean doing everything your husband says. It doesn’t mean, “All women go to the left, because the man is always right.” It doesn’t mean you are less-than your husband or a woman forced to live in a man’s world.
Simply put, submitting to your husband means willingly and joyfully submitting to his leadership when he submits to the Lord—and you do it for the good of the family and the glory of God. And submission looks like this: supporting his decisions once they are made. Disagreeing with him without being disagreeable. Encouraging rather than undermining his leadership. Praying for him to be a godly husband and father than constantly criticizing him.
Submission says, “How can I help?” Resistance says, “Why should I?”
That said, the Lord does not expect you to submit to an absent, abusive, or adulterous husband. He does expect you to submit to a husband who adheres to the word of the Lord and the Lord of the word. It is for this reason that the apostle adds at the end, “as it is fit in the Lord.” Walk behind him when he follows the compass of God’s word, not when he is headed south. Follow your husband when he follows the Lord—follow the Lord when your husband doesn’t.
And when a husband loves the Lord and loves his wife—proving it in a sacrificial and selfless way as the greatest servant of the household—a wife will have no problem submitting to his lead (Col. 3:19; Eph. 5:25). This is why believers, the Bride of Christ, so voluntarily submit to Jesus, the Groom. He has proven His love for us. He became the greatest Servant of all by humbling Himself to the point of death for sinners. Christ is a Savior you want to follow. Likewise, a husband who models Christ in his words and actions is a man you will want to lead you.
Now, what if your husband is an unbeliever? What should you do then? Thankfully, there is a wealth of wise counsel in the New Testament for this exact question. Paul in First Corinthians 7 teaches that divorce is never the solution, not even in a less-than-ideal marriage to an unbelieving spouse. Paul does say that if the unsaved husband demands a divorce, you are allowed to concede, but still, separation should always be a “no-go” and never the “go-to” (1 Cor. 7:10-11, 13, 15). And in 1 Peter 3, the apostle says that you should try your darndest to win them to Christ by your “conduct,” adorning yourself with internal qualities that point them to Jesus (1 Pet. 3:1-6).
Lastly, I wish to say again: submission does not mean inferiority. First of all, both the husband and wife have one Lord: Jesus Christ. Second, the Scripture’s metaphor of marriage conveys that the husband and wife are equal. The Bible describes the marriage of a godly man and woman as being “equally yoked” (2 Cor. 6:14). This portrays two cattle with their heads in a yoke together, both moving in the same direction, and both at the same level—ground level. And thirdly, consider this: was Christ Jesus less than God His Father because He submitted to Him? Of course not. The Son of God is one with the Father. He is equal to the Father because He is as much God as He is. Yet, He willingly and joyfully submitted to His good will because that was His role and responsibility as a Son.
The role and responsibility of redeemed wives is submission to a saved and continually sanctified husband.
Brandon is the pastor of Bandana Baptist Church in Bandana, Kentucky, where he lives with his wife, Dakota, their much-prayed for son, Oliver, and their three dogs. Brandon and Dakota previously served as foster parents through Sunrise Children’s Services of Kentucky. Brandon is also a published author and his Bible Gleanings columns are featured in over sixteen publications throughout Kentucky, Illinois, Tennessee, and Indiana. He is also a devotional contributor for Kentucky Today,a news publication of the Kentucky Baptist Convention, and an editor at Reforming the Heart.
“Brandon, remember this: the Christian life is not like riding a bicycle.”
A proverb engraved into the walls of my heart. Wise words that have served as guardrails for me on the narrow road that leads to everlasting life. A pocketful of truth I will carry with me forever. Something the Spirit has brought back to my mind whenever I was tempted to backslide or grow lukewarm—words I have used many times over to exhort others who were likewise tempted. But, though this sanctifying saying is saturated with biblical truth, it does not come directly from the Bible. It came from a man steeped in the Scripture: John Norman Plumley (Sept. 30, 1973 – May 26, 2026).
When I heard these life-changing words, I was a babe in Christ—eager to grow, but vulnerable to indwelling sin, old habits, and the enticements of the world. And this godly man who walked plenty of miles with Jesus told me exactly what I needed to know, exactly when I needed to know it, and exactly how I needed to hear it. This was just a few months after I first visited his home to tell him how Christ saved my soul. When I first became a Christian, I wanted to tell everyone, and started with my hometown of Bandana, Kentucky. And I couldn’t wait to get to his house.
I knew him a while before I knew him as a brother-in-Christ, of course. In my “before Christ” days, I was a rebellious and rambunctious preteen running the roads of Bandana and raising cane on every street with his son, whom we all called “Little Johnny.” Even then, I greatly admired John. I thought the man knew everything about everything—especially cars, motorcycles, dirtbikes—heck, anything that had wheels and an engine. And talk about quick-witted—I remember often wondering, “How does he always have a joke at the ready?”
Evidently, he had gracious words for up-building always ready, too. I don’t know if he came up with it himself, or where he heard it—but I have never been able to unhear it. The meaning was simple enough for a newborn Christian like myself to understand. When you get off a bike for a while, you can jump back on like no time has passed at all. It all comes back to you naturally. But following Christ is radically different—and much more difficult. When you get behind in your Bible reading for a while, it’s hard to get back on the saddle. When you neglect daily prayer, it’s difficult for it to feel natural again. You’ve got to stick with it. It takes determined effort and discipline.
How many times have I gone without reading my Bible and thought of these words? How many times have I grown lax in praying and seen his face in my mind?
This is why in John’s final days, I told him that he did things that count for eternity. He impacted people in ways most never will. He sent treasures ahead of him to heaven. Most believers are familiar with the idiom, “Only one life, ‘twill soon be past. Only what’s done for Christ will last.” I do not know if John ever knew that phrase, but he certainly lived by it.
John’s life is also a testimony that the Lord can use anyone at any time at any place to do anything. If you didn’t know, the last season of John’s life was spent for the kingdom of God. He became an evangelistic Gideon. He served faithfully as a deacon. He did incredible mission work. He finished his race on earth running.
It is also not news that John received news no one wants to hear: an aggressive cancer diagnosis. I remember hearing about it and thinking it felt deeply unfair. John was a choice servant of the Lord, a loving father, a devoted husband, an exemplary churchman, and an inspiring Christian. A man like that being plagued with cancer just didn’t seem right, if I’m being honest.
But through it all, he held onto faith until his faith became sight recently. In all my years of pastoral ministry, I have seen the faith of many weaken when receiving such a tragic and life-altering verdict. I have seen several more abandon the faith when their cross was too heavy to bear. But not John. The heavier his cross, the tighter his hold on Christ.
Now, his hands are in the nail-scarred hands. His head has been adorned with the countless crowns of glory he stored up on earth. There are untold numbers of people who have a Bible in their hands because of John. And who knows how many people read the Scripture, bow their heads to pray, preach Christ with fervor, and keep on keeping on because a man named John Plumley pointed them to Jesus with his words and life? I know at least one.
John taught me that the Christian life is not like riding a bicycle. And because of the godly legacy he leaves behind, many of us will keep pedaling on the path of righteousness.
Brandon is the pastor of Bandana Baptist Church in Bandana, Kentucky, where he lives with his wife, Dakota, their much-prayed for son, Oliver, and their three dogs. Brandon and Dakota previously served as foster parents through Sunrise Children’s Services of Kentucky. Brandon is also a published author and his Bible Gleanings columns are featured in over sixteen publications throughout Kentucky, Illinois, Tennessee, and Indiana. He is also a devotional contributor for Kentucky Today,a news publication of the Kentucky Baptist Convention, and an editor at Reforming the Heart.
You can see it when you drive past Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia. You can hear it when the final notes of Taps linger in the air. You can feel it deep in your chest when everyone stands for the pledge of allegiance at a football game. And you enjoy it every day you wake up in the United States of America: the price of freedom.
Our privileges and peace come with a price tag. Freedom isn’t free. It cost 6,800 American lives during the Revolutionary War, lives like Nathan Hale who courageously spied for the Continental Army, declaring with his dying breath, “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.” The price of liberty was paid again during World War II by heroic men like John Basilone, who single-handedly fought through 150 yards of Japanese lines to obtain more ammunition to continue fighting—and he returned to later fight at Iwo Jima although he could have gone home. Roy Benavidez paid the expense of liberty in Vietnam when he valiantly rescued a team of gunned-down soldiers with only a knife, earning him the nickname, “The Real Rambo.”
Thousands of self-sacrificial men and women wrote a blank check to freedom with their lives. Some never came home, some came home never the same. All gave some, and some gave all. And whether or not they realized it, their sacrifice was an exceptional emulation of Jesus, the Son of God, who gave His all for all the world—laying down His life on Calvary’s cruel cross for at-war-with-God sinners like you and I. These heroes gave their all for love of country and their fellow man, and there is no greater love than this: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13, KJV).
This is what Memorial Day is about. Not a long weekend. Not barbecues and camping by the lake. It’s a day to remember that the blessings we all relish were bought with blood by men and women whose names most of us will never know. And their heroism reminds us of the ultimate Hero who purchased salvation with His life’s blood (1 Peter 1:18-19).
Brandon is the pastor of Bandana Baptist Church in Bandana, Kentucky, where he lives with his wife, Dakota, their much-prayed for son, Oliver, and their three dogs. Brandon and Dakota previously served as foster parents through Sunrise Children’s Services of Kentucky. Brandon is also a published author and his Bible Gleanings columns are featured in over sixteen publications throughout Kentucky, Illinois, Tennessee, and Indiana. He is also a devotional contributor for Kentucky Today,a news publication of the Kentucky Baptist Convention, and an editor at Reforming the Heart.
One eulogy is not enough to honor the life and love of my mother. One funeral service is not sufficient to share hundreds of precious memories and the unforgettable ways in which she impacted people. One lifetime cannot possibly repay her kindness and sacrifices. Only one eternity will do to give thanks to the Lord God and His Son Jesus for the gracious gift of my mother.
You may have known her as Connie Ann, as a neighbor, a friend, or family—but I knew her as “mom.” As a matter of fact, when I was little and someone told me her name, I swiftly corrected them, “No, her name is ‘Mom.’”
Mom gave me the gift of life—existence itself. God formed and nurtured me in her womb, and she nurtured me as a son. And I couldn’t have asked for a better mother. Proverbs 31 was written centuries ago with mothers like her in mind:
“She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household . . . She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy . . . Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue . . . Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (Prov. 31:15, 20, 25, 26, 28).
That’s how I remember her. I can only imagine how many times in the midnight hour she rose to tend to me as a baby. But I do not have to rely on imagination to know how many times I got in trouble for staying up past the midnight hour.
She always opened her hand to those in need. She took care of her grandparents who raised her until they took their final breaths. She tenderly cared for nursing home residents when she cooked meals there. When she delivered meals to senior citizens, she would not just bring food—she would go inside and bless them with the warmth of her presence. She even opened up her own home to many family members who just needed a place to stay for a while until they got back on their feet.
And she always took care of me. Whenever I cried, she was there to hold me. Whenever I got a scrape or cut, she was there to nurse and kiss it. Even as an adult, she was the first one I’d call when I was carrying a heavy burden (although, thank God she wasn’t a phone receptionist—answering the phone was not one of her strengths).
She was so full of love, too. There are too many stories of her love to share, but one stands out: she took to my wife instantly. When my wife and I first broke up in high school, I remember my mom saying, “Brandon, you are making a big mistake.” And I just learned recently that she told my now-wife in the school pickup line, “Honey, I know my son broke up with you, but you and me are still friends.” She wasn’t even on my side! I didn’t even know how close they were until a few days ago. My wife was showing me photos on her phone of them going out shopping all the time once we got married. One time they even went bowling together, and I didn’t get any invitation!
She had a big heart for two-legged creatures like us, and for four-legged creatures like cats and dogs. I can’t remember any time we didn’t have animals running around the house and yard. Bandana was always a drop-off town for stray animals, but it didn’t take long before they found their way to our house.
There are too many to list, but one I remember was a dog named Missy Poo, which she adopted from an elderly man who was placed in the nursing home who couldn’t keep it. We had cats of all colors, and countless dogs: a cocker spaniel, a Pomeranian, a mutt my dad rescued from the interstate, a shepherd mix, and two lab mixes—those were just the strays. We had beagles, Jack Russels, and one boxer as well. She even raised a squirrel that we had for many years. Our home was a sanctuary where animals were treated like family.
Mom also loved to be outside. She had a green thumb—something she didn’t pass on to me. She always smelled like earth from tending to and planting flowers. Our yard was always teeming with greenery and life, and nearly all the bushes and flowers there today were planted by her. In fact, our backroom would be transformed into a jungle in the winter—we’d have to bring in all the real valuable plants from outside so they wouldn’t freeze.
Mom loved to cut up, too. She was always laughing and always had a playful insult in her pocket, ready to throw at anyone with a weird haircut, funny-looking clothes, or for just walking funny. If someone’s hair was unkempt, she’d say things like, “Somebody put their finger in an electric socket.” Sometimes, we’d just look at each other and laugh when someone funny looking came around. And Lord help anyone who cut her off in traffic or sped around her while we were driving. I don’t know why, but if someone was speeding around her, she’d say, “Somebody’s in a hurry to get a bag of chips!”
We were always laughing together. When I was a kid, we were at Wal-Mart during a heavy rain and it made her hair curl, and I said, “Mom, you look like George Washington.” And from that day forward, a tradition was born—anytime her hair was messy, she would say, “Bran, I got George Washington hair.”
I can also remember, one of our neighbors would mow the property next to us, and there was a big walnut tree. And he would send walnuts flying like missiles against the side of our house, and anytime he’d mow, she’d say, “Get down, we’re under attack!” We’d also laugh about how she didn’t believe in expiration dates. She had medicine and food that was five years expired, and she’d say it was still good.
I can’t possibly paint a full portrait of my mother’s life, but the most important thing about her is that she was a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. She wasn’t a perfect Christian—none of us are—but she entrusted her soul to a perfect Savior. And she pointed my soul to that perfect Savior. I wouldn’t be a believer without her. That’s why I am so indebted to her—she gave me life, and pointed me to the Christ who gave me everlasting life.
We didn’t go to church that often until I was a teenager—and she would drag me to church many Sundays. One morning in the summer I had stayed up all night, playing outside until 7 am, and she found me and said, “C’mon, we’re going to church.”
I heard the gospel over and over, and saw the gospel in my mother. One night, we had a terrible family situation transpire, and she took the floor and said, “What we need to do right now is pray.” I had never prayed before in my life—well, once I did when the police were looking for me and my childhood friend after we had thrown mud at cars by the hardware store (that’s another story for another time). But something else—Someone else, rather—took control of me, and I said, “I’ll pray with you, mom.” We went into the bathroom, she knelt down and her prayer shocked me. She said,
“Lord Jesus, we thank You for dying on the cross for our sins. Thank You for sending Jesus to save us. Please help us get through this. Please, Lord.”
And I remember thinking, “Wait a minute. What does Jesus got to do with this? If God answers prayer, shouldn’t you be asking Him for His help? Why is Jesus so important?”
And that’s when it hit me: Jesus mattered more to her than the situation getting better. Christ dying on the cross for sinners is what it’s all about. And then I began to make all the connections—I was that sinner Christ died for. I needed Him to save me. And only a few hours later, I went to my parents’ backyard and gave my life to Christ. All because my mom took me to church, exemplified the gospel, and prayed for me.
And it didn’t stop there. She nurtured me in the faith. She prayed with me every morning before school. We read Scripture together. She got me my first study Bible ever. She was there for dozens of my first sermons. I would often read my sermons aloud in her bedroom for her critique and suggestions. She spent so much time discipling me.
And this is why, while she suffered at the hospital, eventually my desire for her to depart this world became greater than my selfish desire for her to stay on this earth. I felt a peace wash over me when I saw her pass. Because I knew that in that very instant, she was translated to glory with Christ. After her last breath on earth, she took her first breath of heaven’s blissful air. She instantly entered a place of “no-mores.” No more sorrow, sin, death, or mourning. She joined heaven’s choir of angels and saints, and is at this very moment, singing praises to Christ around His throne. She prepared a place in her heart for Jesus, and He prepared a place in heaven for her—and she settled in the moment she left us on Wednesday.
This is why the Scripture says that we grieve not as others do who have no hope. We have hope. Those of us who believe in Christ like she did have the hope of seeing her again, and most importantly, of seeing Jesus. If you have repented of your sins, trusted in Christ, and committed to follow Him for life, you are not saying, “Goodbye” to Connie Bramlett. You are simply saying, “I’ll see you again.”
But I must tell you, while I grieve to the depth of my bones at times for the passing of my mother, I grieve much more for anyone who does not have this hope. Some of you have not turned from your sins to trust in Christ, and you have no hope of seeing my mother again or ever seeing the eternal kingdom of God. But it is good that you are thinking about death. The Scripture says that it is better to go to the house of mourning than the house of feasting for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart. In other words, it’s better to go to more funerals than parties, because every funeral is a preview of you.
You are going to die. You are not invincible. One day, your number will be called and you will meet the Lord in judgment. If you are forgiven through believing in Christ, you will hear the most blessed words of all, “Well, done, my good and faithful servant. Enter the kingdom prepared for you before the foundation of the world.” But if your sins are unforgiven because you do not believe in Jesus, you will hear the most harrowing words of all, “I never knew you. Depart from me you workers of iniquity.”
For those of you who do not believe, do you understand the level of eternal danger you are in? Hell is beneath your feet, and your foot is about to slip. God would be perfectly just to open the mouth of hell to receive your soul before I finish this sentence. You are one heartbeat away from separation from God—one breath away from paying for your sins in a burning eternity where you will suffer under the wrath of God forever. And forever is a long time. The human mind cannot possibly conceive it, but consider this. Judas betrayed Christ in unbelief over 2,000 years ago, and it is as though today is his first day in hell.
And why is the punishment so severe? We have offended an eternal God with our sins. We have all broken His commandments. Lying, stealing, taking the name of the Lord in vain, lusting after someone, failing to keep the Sabbath, failing to love God with all our hearts—all of these things are treasonous crimes to a holy God.
And, what’s worse, He is the just judge of all people. And what do just judges do with crimes? They punish them. So does God, and the punishment for sin is death, hell, and separation from God forever.
You are in serious trouble with God if you are unforgiven. And that is why you need Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Jesus died the death you deserved on the cross. He paid your sin debt in full. God the Father tried and judged Him in your place. He was separated from God for a time so you’d never have to be. God treated Him like a sinner—pouring out the full weight of His wrath upon Him—so that He could treat you like a son or a daughter.
But to be saved and go to heaven, you have to do what my mother did—what the Scripture commands you to do. And that is to repent and believe. It’s that simple. To repent means to turn away—to turn your back on the life you’ve been living without Christ and kiss it goodbye. To say to Jesus, “I’m not living this way anymore. I’m done.” But you must also believe in Jesus, which means trusting in Him and His finished work as sufficient for your salvation. Believe that Christ is enough. Believe that only He can forgive your sins, reconcile you to holy God, and write your name in heaven.
Do not put this off. I hear many people say, “Well, I’ll start following Jesus later in life when I’m older.” You may not have later, but you have now. That’s why the Scripture says, “Today is the day of salvation.” Do it now. Repent and believe in Christ now.
God may give you 65 years on this earth like He gave my mother. He may give you 81 years of life like He gave my grandfather. There is no way of knowing how long we will live. What we do know is that life is short, a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes. We know that our time is in God’s hands. We know that it is appointed unto man once to die and after this is the judgment. And we know that if we do not believe, we will suffer in hell. We know that if we do believe, we will enter heaven where my beloved mother is. And perhaps the only reason you are hearing this is because God is calling you to be saved.
If my mother were here right now, what she would want more than anything in the world is for you to repent and trust in Christ. Nothing matters more than that. And while our grief is natural—simply unexpressed love as I say it is—she would not want us to grieve. She’d want us to rejoice—to give glory to God that she is absent from the body and present with the Lord. The true Connie—my true mother—the soul that we loved who loved us—is with Christ forevermore.
Brandon is the pastor of Bandana Baptist Church in Bandana, Kentucky, where he lives with his wife, Dakota, their much-prayed for son, Oliver, and their three dogs. Brandon and Dakota previously served as foster parents through Sunrise Children’s Services of Kentucky. Brandon is also a published author and his Bible Gleanings columns are featured in over sixteen publications throughout Kentucky, Illinois, Tennessee, and Indiana. He is also a devotional contributor for Kentucky Today,a news publication of the Kentucky Baptist Convention, and an editor at Reforming the Heart.
Don Charles Bramlett (September 23, 1944 – December 21, 2025), my Pa, is this very day with the Lord in that place where there is no afternoon or night—only a timeless eternity that knows no end. He was a loving, for-better-or-worse-till-death-do-us-part husband to my Meme, Joann Bramlett, whom he walked faithfully beside for 62 years. He was a tender and exemplary father to my aunt, Tina, and my dad, Greg. He was a beloved great grandfather to my niece Lexi, and Talyn, Kaysn, Jakob, and Paislee. But to me—he was my Pa. And I know I can speak for the other grandchildren when I saw that he was the best grandpa anyone could ever ask for—a grandfather who stood above the rest.
And there is a timeworn photograph (above) I didn’t even know existed until recently that says it all. Chelsea and I were sitting on his lap in front of the fireplace, and both of my hands are holding tightly onto his. And that is the story of me and Pa—all my life I have held his steady hand to show me the way in life. His loving hand was one of guidance and direction that have made me the man, husband, and Christian I am today—and I know I will be holding onto his hand when our baby boy is born, to show me how to be a dad.
Like all of the grandkids and great grandkids, the first way Pa’s hand showed me what to do was when it came to fishing. This was one of his favorite hobbies, and was such, I believe, because he appreciated God’s wonderful handiwork in creating ponds, lakes, and fish for our enjoyment. And while I cannot remember exactly when he showed me how to tie a hook onto a line or put a worm on it, I see his face every time I do. When I was teaching our former foster son how to fish, he asked me why I licked the fishing line before twisting and tying it, and I was proud to tell him, “My Pa always did it this way.”
And while I was never as good a fisherman as he, I always wanted to make him proud and do the best I could. I remember one occasion, when fishing at Reelfoot Lake, which Kailey was not too fond of, he told me, “Don’t take your eyes off them poles. If they move, grab them.” And I took it literally. For two and a half days, my eyes were glued to the spider-rigged poles in the front of the boat. And since we had no mirror in the camper, I only learned when I got home that evidently, your eyes can be sunburned. I had two perfectly red lines in both of my eyes from staring at the lake all day, just trying to make my Pa proud.
I also see his face every time I strive to be the man God has called me to be, because Pa was the example of manhood. I can remember one time, when I was a wayward and mostly worthless preteen, he came over to help my dad put insulation in the attic. I was lazy and didn’t want to help. And he came into my bedroom and said firmly but gently, “Brandon, men work. Get out here and help me and your daddy.” That sentence stuck with me. That was a defining moment. I had never seen the relationship between work and manhood until that moment. And although I was a bit itchy afterwards, we got the job done together.
I also see his face every time I try to be an exemplary Christian, because he was certainly one of the best. I can remember him presenting me with one of the first Christian books I ever received as a new believer. And he told me to read it and stick with it, because he wished he could read. He was like that—always wanting you to be better than he was. It takes a special man in a world of competition to want you to turn out better than him.
I listened to him. And because of that book and my Pa’s counsel to keep reading, I am the Christian, pastor, and author I am today.
And I see my Pa every time I think about cultivating humility. I have never known anyone in my life as humble as he was. He was a man of few words because he spoke much louder through his actions, and both his words and actions were always very humble. He was especially a great example of what it means to humble yourself before God that He may exalt you.
Each time I would preach about Christ during the many sermons he made sure to attend, and each time we would sing hymns in church, I would see him cry. And those tears were tears of overwhelming joy and gratitude that Christ came into the world for him—humility. And all of us would be better believers if we cherished Christ as much as Pa did.
And that is the most important thing I can tell you about my Pa. He believed in Christ. At some point in his life, good as he was, he realized he was a sinner who needed a Savior. He knew he couldn’t work his way into heaven or do anything good to be made right in the sight of a holy God. Realizing this, he put all of his faith and trust in Christ and His finished work on the cross. At that moment, Pa’s sins were forgiven, his name was written in heaven, and he was born again.
And it is that very fact that gives believers the greatest comfort in our grief. If you come to Jesus for salvation, just as Pa did, then you are not saying, “Goodbye.” If you possess eternal life by believing upon Jesus Christ, then you can confidently say, “Pa, I’ll be seeing you again” (1 Thess. 4:13-14).
And the promise of our Lord Jesus in John 14 is what my Pa believed:
“Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also. And you know the way to where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?” Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (John 14:1-6).
And on the early morning of December 21, Jesus put all the finishing touches on Pa’s heavenly home, and it was time for him to settle in. Jesus prepared a place in heaven for him because he prepared a place in his heart for Jesus.
And Pa hung onto life for a long time, and I said, “His crowns aren’t ready yet. With all the crowns he will be receiving, it must be taking a while to get them all done.” And how humbling it is to know that the moment he was crowned in heaven for his faithfulness on earth, he laid those crowns at the feet of the King of kings and Lord of lords. How wonderful it is to know that the moment Pa took his final breath on earth, he took his very first breath of heaven’s perfect air. How precious it is to know that Pa is singing, at this very moment, “Worthy is the Lamb who was slain to receive honor, power, and glory.” Although, if animals do go to heaven and fish and deer are there, too—they may not have very nice things to say.
“I Held Your Hand.”
All my life, I held onto your steady hand
Teaching me to fish, hunt, and how to be a man.
You were my example, my inspiration, and my Pa.
I learned from you, yes, from what you said, but more from what I saw.
I see your face when I tie fishing line through a hole,
I see your face when I patiently fish for souls.
You taught me how to be a father who provides,
How to be a husband who loves his bride.
You taught me to be a Christian, humble and of few words
Showing me a heart that sticks close to the God of the word.
I am thankful I got to hold your hand on earth one last time,
But I am more thankful to know you heard from Jesus, “This one is Mine.”
Because you placed your hand in the one that is nail-scarred, believing in Christ for your salvation,
I know I will one day raise my hands to Jesus with you in the new creation.
Until we meet again in that holy land,
Pa, I’ll keep on holding your hand.
Brandon is the pastor of Bandana Baptist Church in Bandana, Kentucky, where he lives with his wife, Dakota, their much-prayed for son, Oliver, and their three dogs. Brandon and Dakota previously served as foster parents through Sunrise Children’s Services of Kentucky. Brandon is also a published author and his Bible Gleanings columns are featured in over sixteen publications throughout Kentucky, Illinois, Tennessee, and Indiana. He is also a devotional contributor for Kentucky Today,a news publication of the Kentucky Baptist Convention, and an editor at Reforming the Heart.
The man was sickly, impoverished, and defenseless against danger. The local apothecary gave him cordial, but it turned out to be watered down liquor. A rich landowner lent him coins, but they slipped through the holes in his satchel. When wolves encircled his home, he would drive them back with sticks and stones, only to suffer greater wounds each night. And suddenly, his dwindling hope revived when a promising thought entered his weary mind:
“Perhaps the king shall take pity upon me.”
Stories of the king’s wisdom in medicine, abundance of wealth, and vast armory circulated among the villages, and the peasant man heard his fair share, too. More than that, the king had a reputation for being generous. In desperation, he boldly sought the king’s help—something peons would never entertain.
And after journeying three days, he looked upon the king’s towering castle with relief. But then his heart sank into his belly: a moat enclosed the castle and the drawbridge was raised.
“Alas! I cannot enter,” he lamented. “I shall wait here, and perhaps one of the king’s men will notice me.”
But the sun soon sank behind the horizon, and so did his hope. Suddenly, the drawbridge lowered, and a rider upon a white steed emerged, but galloped right past him. And the drawbridge raised again.
He began traveling home, his heart sorer than ever. But while on the way, a horseman drew near. “Friend,” he asked, “I saw thee at the entrance of the castle, appearing vexed. What burdens thee?” The man initially hesitated, but finally spoke up:
“I am dying, with no cure. My purse is empty and wolves prowl my fences. I heard your king was kind, and thought he could help me. But seeing no entry, I dared not force my way in.”
The rider nodded and said, “I shall see what may be done.”
The man’s eyes glimmered with hope and he asked, “Truly? And may I ask—who art thou?”
The rider then smiled and said, “I am the king’s son.”
The horseman then disappeared into the dusk, telling the man to return tomorrow.
At daylight, the man returned—and there was the king’s son beside the drawbridge. At his command, the drawbridge lowered, and the prince sat the man on his own horse and proceeded inside until they made it to the throne.
“My lord and king, I,” but then the king’s son raised his hand.
“Father, this man is poor,” he said. “He is sick and beset by foes. And he has come seeking thy mercy.”
Immediately, the king answered, “Let it be done. Fill his pockets with my own gold. Give him the healing cordial I have prepared. And arm him plentifully, that he may ward off the wolves.”
The son lowered the drawbridge to the king, and the peasant was welcomed into his presence, receiving all that he lacked.
The Scripture tells of another King, another Son, another drawbridge, and another needy man. We are needy sinners who require what only God can give us, and prayer is the drawbridge the Father lowers to those accompanied by His Son, that we may enter His throne-room to receive the grace and we need.
We cannot gain access on our own. We cannot sneak through the back door. There is no way of getting in unless the drawbridge is lowered by the Prince of Peace, Jesus.
And when He brings us into God’s throne-room, we always receive what we need, not what we may want. What He gives according to His will is better than what we want or what we might seek from this wicked world. Our spiritual illnesses cannot be healed by the placebos the world offers. Our spiritual poverty cannot be reversed by earthly riches. And we are defenseless against the wolf, Satan. But through prayer, we enter God’s throne-room, where He heals our soul’s diseases, enriches us, and equips us with the weapons we need to fight in spiritual warfare—so long as the Son brings us inside (Heb. 4:14-16)
Brandon is the pastor of Bandana Baptist Church in Bandana, Kentucky, where he lives with his wife, Dakota, their much-prayed for son, Oliver, and their three dogs. Brandon and Dakota previously served as foster parents through Sunrise Children’s Services of Kentucky. Brandon is also a published author and his Bible Gleanings columns are featured in over sixteen publications throughout Kentucky, Illinois, Tennessee, and Indiana. He is also a devotional contributor for Kentucky Today,a news publication of the Kentucky Baptist Convention, and an editor at Reforming the Heart.
Christians need to study church history. Present-day believers can find soul-encouragement from the perseverance of yesteryear’s saints. Nothing will fuel your faithfulness today like reading about towering Christians who faced ridicule, persecution, and even death for the “crime” of following Jesus. Modern disciples can also learn to be more wary of false doctrine from studying the array of heresies which have arisen over the years, and how theologians in past centuries combatted such lies as beacons of biblical truth. There are a dozen more reasons to savor good books on church history, and today’s believers are blessed to have such a book from Nick Needham, Shapers of Christianity.
Excellent content + skillful writing = a book you cannot put down. I cannot recommend this short volume enough. Nick Needham is a modern-day expert on church history and the gold-nugget details that leave you saying, “Wow. I never knew that.” I burned through this book in four days. Needham paints brief sketches of the church fathers, reformers, and American theologians like B. B. Warfield and J. Gresham Machen.
To whet your appetite, here are a few little-known facts I gleaned from the book:
Irenaeus of Lyons (who wrote his best works during AD 175-195) was directly discipled by Polycarp, who was directly discipled by John the apostle.
Most arguments for the deity of Christ, the divine personhood of the Holy Spirit, and the Trinity were first facilitated by Gregory of Nazianzus (AD 330-390). He helped think through the Bible’s teaching on the Triune Godhead, shaping our Trinitarian doctrines into what they are today.
Anselm of Canterbury (1033-1109) wrote the first-ever systematic theology on substitutionary atonement.
John Calvin and other reformers cherished the commentaries written by a little-known Eastern Orthodox theologian, Theophylact of Ochrid (1050-1109). And that is saying something, considering the schism between the two theologies.
John Wycliffe (1330-1384), who led the way in giving us the English Bible we have today, was so detested by the Roman Catholic Church that they dug up his bones after his death and burned them. And, the Bible societies he founded were still active when the Reformation eventually made its way to England.
A lesser-known Russian monk named Tikhon of Zadonsk (1724-1783) transformed the world of devotional writing. He loved Western Christian literature, and Western Christians loved him back.
Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758), though known for “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God,” preached much more on grace than wrath; and his neighborhood experienced such revival that they found it bizarre to engage in small-talk—unless it was biblical.
Without the organizational genius of John Wesley (1703-1791), Christianity in America would not be what it is today. Wesley also disliked open-air preaching, but did it anyway, explaining, “I love a commodious room, a soft cushion, a handsome pulpit. But where is my zeal, if I do not trample all these under foot in order to save one more soul?” (65).
Francis Turretin (1623-1687), an older Italian reformed theologian, was perhaps the chief reason why Princeton was once a champion of biblical truth. His “Institutes of Elenctic Theology,” was devoured by then-president Charles Hodge (Hodge persuaded one of his friends to translate the work into English, without which, we would not be able to read it today). And Hodge was a major influence on B. B. Warfield and J. Gresham Machen, whose writings were desperately needed in the age of modernism and liberalism.
Get your copy of Shapers of Christianity by Nick Needham in paperback from Banner of Truth.
Brandon is the pastor of Bandana Baptist Church in Bandana, Kentucky, where he lives with his wife, Dakota, their much-prayed for son, Oliver, and their three dogs. Brandon and Dakota previously served as foster parents through Sunrise Children’s Services of Kentucky. Brandon is also a published author and his Bible Gleanings columns are featured in over sixteen publications throughout Kentucky, Illinois, Tennessee, and Indiana. He is also a devotional contributor for Kentucky Today,a news publication of the Kentucky Baptist Convention, and an editor at Reforming the Heart.
Unanswered prayer is a razor-sharp instrument of sanctification that the Lord uses to slice open our idolatrous, covetous, unbelieving, and impatient hearts.
That has been my experience, anyway.
When the Lord does not grant us what we want or think we need, our sinful inclination is to desire what we are praying for more than we desire the will of God, which may or may not include the things we have prayed for. The things for which we have yearned for and cried for in prayer may even be good, but our idol-worshipping hearts have a way of turning good things into god-things (Rom. 1:25). A good thing can swiftly become a golden calf and we can easily become fixated upon what we want, allowing everything in our lives to revolve around it, thus, inhibiting contentment with the Lord and His will.
Of course, this is contrary to the kind of God-pleasing obedience which Jesus exemplified in the gloomy garden of Gethsemane (Luke 22:42). He prayed that the cup of God’s righteous indignation would pass from Him, if it were possible. For a brief moment, He prayed for a plan B. Nevertheless, He submitted to God’s sovereign plan of redemption, content with the Lord’s will, which was to “crush Him” (Isa. 53:10). Jesus desired the will of God more than what He prayed for.
Unanswered prayer can also reveal our unholy disposition to question God’s promises and provision, as if His word has failed because we have failed to receive what we have asked for in prayer. When the Lord denies our request(s), we can slip into unbelief and falsely suppose that God is going to give us a serpent or a stone, or worse, that He will withhold the bread and good gifts which He promises to give His children. Walking by sight instead of by faith, we can easily interpret a “No” from God as His displeasure or a failure to keep His word.
Unanswered prayer can also expose our impatience and unwillingness to wait upon the Lord. Perhaps He will give us what we are praying for, but today is not the day. Tomorrow may not be the day, either. Perhaps His denial or delay is because He has something much better in store. Only the Lord knows. But what is certain is that when we do not immediately receive what we are praying for, we have a tendency to grow frustrated and impatient.
To be certain, unanswered prayer can be painful, but it is often painful in the same way that open heart surgery is painful; the heart has to be lacerated and opened in order to get it working right. And the Lord has a way of using unanswered prayers to expose the evil of our hearts and show us that all we truly need is Him. Because of this, unanswered prayer can often be an unexpected blessing.
Brandon is the pastor of Bandana Baptist Church in Bandana, Kentucky, where he lives with his wife, Dakota, their much-prayed for son, Oliver, and their three dogs. Brandon and Dakota previously served as foster parents through Sunrise Children’s Services of Kentucky. Brandon is also a published author and his Bible Gleanings columns are featured in over sixteen publications throughout Kentucky, Illinois, Tennessee, and Indiana. He is also a devotional contributor for Kentucky Today,a news publication of the Kentucky Baptist Convention, and an editor at Reforming the Heart.
He’s a professional holy man, they say. He only works two days a week, and never leaves the confines and comforts of his office, as some believe. Some think that he is disconnected from reality, and that the only time he experiences real life is at weddings and funerals. All of these misconceptions and more are associated with the office of pastor. But what is the truth about pastors and what does God say about them in His word?
According to the Scripture, pastors are primarily shepherds of the souls of a local church. His primary task is to feed, lead, protect, and rescue the sheep that God entrusted to him. A pastor is not a CEO or a “church boss.” He is a caretaker of a church’s spiritual health. That is what Peter meant when he commanded pastors, “Shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight, not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; not for shameful gain, but eagerly; not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unfading crown of glory” (1 Peter 5:2-4).
Pastors are also called to equip and train their congregations so that they might faithfully serve God and others. Contrary to popular belief, ministry is not relegated to the pastor only. Many mistakenly believe that the pastor is responsible for all of the work of ministry. And while he should serve alongside his people, his God-ordained job is to equip members of the church for the work of ministry. Paul wrote, “And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ” (Eph. 4:11-12).
And the pastor’s principal means of feeding the sheep and equipping the saints is the preaching of the word of God. The Scripture is the believer’s spiritual food, and is the pastor’s role is to prepare a feast for the people to eat (1 Peter 2:2). The Bible is the believer’s training manual for godly living, and the pastor’s task is to guide congregants through it (2 Tim. 3:16-17). He is not called to entertain, share his opinions, or run out the clock by rambling about the ills and ails of society. He is called to preach the Bible, which means explaining, interpreting, and applying what God says in His word. Paul thus commanded pastors, “I charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, who is to judge the living and the dead, and by his appearing and his kingdom: preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching” (2 Timothy 4:1-2).
The pastor’s character is also as crucially important as his calling. He is not free to live anyway he wants. He is called to live an exemplary life, and he may disqualify himself from the office of pastor if he brings reproach upon himself from living sinfully. That’s why the Scripture speaks of qualifications for pastors. Paul gave a lengthy list:
“Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil” (1 Timothy 3:2-7; cf. Titus 1:5-9).
Will you pray for your pastor, and ask the Lord to help him shepherd faithfully and live holy? Will you hold him accountable to uphold a godly character?
Resources from the Ministry of Pastor Brandon G. Bramlett
Brandon's Desk 