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Bible Questions, Other, Perspectives

The Most Misunderstood Verse on Marriage—And What It Actually Means

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Ancient words that are offensive and oppressive to modern ears. Clear and concise, but often confusing. And it is what Christ compels Christian wives to do:

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18, KJV).

The holy Scripture highlights here that a healthy and holy home requires a humble wife who honors her husband’s headship. Ladies of the Lord ought to lean into their husband’s leadership when he is lovingly leading. No family can fully follow Christ without the wife faithfully following her husband when he is following Christ. A husband can only steer the ship of the family with his wife by his side, holding up his arms when they are weary. A godly and submissive wife is the “we” in the “as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15).

Who is Being Spoken To?

The ears that should hear these words and the hearts that should believe and obey them are those of a married woman. Not ladies who are single, dating, or engaged. You are free from compliance with command if you are unmarried, and bound to obey it if you are. Furthermore, God is not talking to husbands or almost-husbands either. Married men, you cannot enforce submission from your wife, and boyfriends and fiancés haven’t even earned it yet.

What is Being Spoken?

But what does this mean? It doesn’t mean doing everything your husband says. It doesn’t mean, “All women go to the left, because the man is always right.” It doesn’t mean you are less-than your husband or a woman forced to live in a man’s world.

    Simply put, submitting to your husband means willingly and joyfully submitting to his leadership when he submits to the Lord—and you do it for the good of the family and the glory of God. And submission looks like this: supporting his decisions once they are made. Disagreeing with him without being disagreeable. Encouraging rather than undermining his leadership. Praying for him to be a godly husband and father than constantly criticizing him.

    Submission says, “How can I help?” Resistance says, “Why should I?”

    That said, the Lord does not expect you to submit to an absent, abusive, or adulterous husband. He does expect you to submit to a husband who adheres to the word of the Lord and the Lord of the word. It is for this reason that the apostle adds at the end, “as it is fit in the Lord.” Walk behind him when he follows the compass of God’s word, not when he is headed south. Follow your husband when he follows the Lord—follow the Lord when your husband doesn’t.

    And when a husband loves the Lord and loves his wife—proving it in a sacrificial and selfless way as the greatest servant of the household—a wife will have no problem submitting to his lead (Col. 3:19; Eph. 5:25). This is why believers, the Bride of Christ, so voluntarily submit to Jesus, the Groom. He has proven His love for us. He became the greatest Servant of all by humbling Himself to the point of death for sinners. Christ is a Savior you want to follow. Likewise, a husband who models Christ in his words and actions is a man you will want to lead you. 

    Now, what if your husband is an unbeliever? What should you do then? Thankfully, there is a wealth of wise counsel in the New Testament for this exact question. Paul in First Corinthians 7 teaches that divorce is never the solution, not even in a less-than-ideal marriage to an unbelieving spouse. Paul does say that if the unsaved husband demands a divorce, you are allowed to concede, but still, separation should always be a “no-go” and never the “go-to” (1 Cor. 7:10-11, 13, 15). And in 1 Peter 3, the apostle says that you should try your darndest to win them to Christ by your “conduct,” adorning yourself with internal qualities that point them to Jesus (1 Pet. 3:1-6).

    Lastly, I wish to say again: submission does not mean inferiority. First of all, both the husband and wife have one Lord: Jesus Christ. Second, the Scripture’s metaphor of marriage conveys that the husband and wife are equal. The Bible describes the marriage of a godly man and woman as being “equally yoked” (2 Cor. 6:14). This portrays two cattle with their heads in a yoke together, both moving in the same direction, and both at the same level—ground level. And thirdly, consider this: was Christ Jesus less than God His Father because He submitted to Him? Of course not. The Son of God is one with the Father. He is equal to the Father because He is as much God as He is. Yet, He willingly and joyfully submitted to His good will because that was His role and responsibility as a Son. 

    The role and responsibility of redeemed wives is submission to a saved and continually sanctified husband.

    Brandon is the pastor of Bandana Baptist Church in Bandana, Kentucky, where he lives with his wife, Dakota, their much-prayed for son, Oliver, and their three dogs. Brandon and Dakota previously served as foster parents through Sunrise Children’s Services of Kentucky. Brandon is also a published author and his Bible Gleanings columns are featured in over sixteen publications throughout Kentucky, Illinois, Tennessee, and Indiana. He is also a devotional contributor for Kentucky Today, a news publication of the Kentucky Baptist Convention, and an editor at Reforming the Heart.

    Bible Questions

    Will There Be Marriage in Heaven?

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    Marriage is a blessed and sanctifying institution the Lord established in the sin-free perfection of Eden. And God ordained marriage as a lifelong and loving union between one man and one woman. After God created Adam, He saw that it was not good for him to be alone, so He created woman from his rib and gave her to him to be his companion. The Scripture, therefore, says, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

    According to this verse, marriage involves leaving, cleaving, and weaving. First, a man and woman leave their old homes to establish a new one. They become their own family unit. Second, a man and woman hold fast to each other in steadfast love and devotion, committed to each other for life. And thirdly, a man and woman “become one flesh” in marriage, that is, their two lives join together as one, just as human DNA is one substance made of two strands.

    Seeing that marriage is a lifelong union of a man and woman, the question that has often been asked is, Will marriage continue into eternity? What does the Bible say about marriage in heaven? Will we be married there? What if we have been divorced? Will we be married to our ex-spouse or our new one?

    It just so happens that Jesus answered this question directly, and was asked this specific question by the Sadducees:

    “The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, saying, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother.’ Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh. After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.” But Jesus answered them, “You are wrong, because you know neither the Scriptures nor the power of God. For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. And as for the resurrection of the dead, have you not read what was said to you by God: ‘I am the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob’? He is not God of the dead, but of the living.” And when the crowd heard it, they were astonished at his teaching” (Matthew 22:23-33).

    That was a loaded question, wasn’t it? The Sadducees, who did not believe in the resurrection (that’s why they were sad you see? I know, that was terrible), posed an interesting question to the Lord. The question was, who will you be married to if you’ve been widowed seven times? The woman in their scenario had seven husbands because each of them succumbed to death (seven in a row is a bit suspicious if you ask me). So, when the woman gets to heaven, who will her husband be?

    It was a good question, and Jesus’ good answer was essentially this, “You’ve got it all wrong. In heaven, they neither marry nor are given in marriage.” In other words, Jesus says that there will be no marriage in heaven. This does not imply that husbands and wives will not recognize each other in heaven or forget about their marriage on earth. There is no chapter and verse that suggests memory erasure or anything of the sort.

    Jesus simply says that there will be no marriage institution in heaven, and if you think about the purposes for marriage, this makes sense. According to the Scripture, the five purposes of marriage are procreation (Gen. 1:28), companionship (Gen. 2:16), sexual purity (1 Cor. 7:2, 5), family (Mal. 2:15), and the gospel (Eph. 5:22-33). And in heaven, all of these purposes are fulfilled.

    God will fill heaven with His spiritual children, and thus, there will be no need for sexual intercourse which produces physical children. Additionally, the presence of all God’s saints and the presence of the Lord Himself will be eternally sufficient for companionship. And what about sexual purity? Well, heaven is a place completely pure and free from sin and its curse, and thus, temptations to sexual immorality will be eliminated. We will also be surrounded by the family of God throughout eternity, fulfilling yet another earthly purpose of marriage. And lastly, we will not need marriage as a symbol of the gospel to remind us of Christ’s love for the church because ironically, believers will be “married” to Christ (cf. Revelation 19:6-8).

    Marriage, as God ordained it, is a beautiful institution for love, friendship, family, child-bearing and rearing, mutual holiness, and it symbolizes the love Christ has for His church in an unforgettable way. It is a gift God has given His creation on earth, to be greatly cherished while we have it, as its purposes will one day be fulfilled in heaven for all who have repented of their sins and exercised faith toward Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

    Bible Questions

    What Does the Bible Say About Being Born Gay?

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    This is an issue that affects all of us whether we like it or not. Born-again believers all over this country have been greatly impacted by the issue of homosexuality on at least three levels: on a cultural level, on an ecclesiastical level, and on a personal level. Culturally, it is not difficult to see its impact. Three years ago this month, the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that same-sex marriage be legalized and recognized in all 50 states. With enough liberal pressure, the justices ruled that the fundamental right to marry was guaranteed to same-sex couples. That event was a major milestone for the LGBTQ community, and it only fueled their fervent vigor for equality and acceptance. Although that particular day was of significant impact, it was not the first time the LGBTQ community has made waves. You may recall the Supreme Court case involving Masterpiece Cakeshop, for example. Thankfully the SCOTUS sided with him in that case but nonetheless, the majority of the LGBTQ community rallied against him. There are dozens of other similar examples of this. Although the LGBTQ community is an extreme minority, our culture promotes and accepts their lifestyle and views as though heterosexuality were the minority.

    The issue also affects us on an ecclesiastical level. Many contemporary churches have changed their views on the issue and crumbled underneath the weight of liberalism. Countless prominent “Christian” leaders, authors, and musicians have broken with the hard-line position against homosexuality and gay marriage. Several books have been written by “pastors” and “theologians” defending the LGBTQ lifestyle and movement. Additionally, churches have been forced to confront the issue biblically and deal with the consequences.

    And finally, the issue affects all of us on a personal level. This issue comes close to home for a lot of us. Most of us know at least one person in the LGBTQ community, whether they are family, friends, or just acquaintances.

    The LGBTQ issue affects us all because it has had such great influence. And there are several reasons why the LGBTQ movement has had great influence. But for the sake of time and to prevent distraction, I won’t examine and review all of those reasons right now. But one of the main reasons this sexual revolution has gained such a following and has had powerful influence is due to the belief that your sexual orientation is entirely dependent on your genetic makeup. In other words, if you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender, you were born that way. All of us have heard that argument before. The argument follows that, if you are born that way, then it cannot be wrong and you cannot help it. If someone can be born gay, then a fair society could not possibly condemn him or her as being unnatural or immoral.

    LGBTQ activists, the liberal media, and several scientists and researchers have actively encouraged the idea that sexuality (other than heterosexuality) is genetic, inherited, and therefore unchangeable. This idea has been proposed for many years and people have vehemently sought scientific evidence to back up the idea that one can be born gay. 

    Of course, this claim is not biblical in any sense. But it is also logically inconsistent and the scientific “evidence” is incoherent (we will see why in a moment). Additionally, some have sought to counter this claim by saying that you are not born that way, but that it is a choice. Some say that such a lifestyle is a choice and has nothing to do with your birth. Well, that isn’t a sufficient rebuttal. Presenting only those two options in this debate creates the problem of a false dichotomy. Saying, “You are either born that way or it is a choice,” basically says its either/or and it leaves no room for another option which might explain it better. That would be like someone saying to me, “Are you stupid or just ignorant?” That is saying that those are the only two possible options. There is no option available where I could be smart.

    But what does the Bible say about being born gay? Does it teach this? Does it teach something else? Is it a choice? Why are people with atypical sexual orientations the way that they are? Well, we will not go through the entire Bible on this subject, we will only focus on the subject of the origin of a such a sexuality. Let’s consider the answer in five parts.

    First, what does the Bible say? The Bible says that all persons are born into this world with a natural inclination towards sin (Gen. 8:21; Job 15:14; Psalm 14:2-3; 51:5; 58:3; Prov. 22:15; Eccl. 9:3; Jer. 17:9; Romans 1:24-32; 5:12-14; Eph. 2:1-3). That is, we are bent towards committing sin. From the moment we are born, our desire and appetite is for sin and our hatred is for God. We will always choose evil over good. We are born with this inclination because of the entrance, curse, and corruption of sin since the Fall. Consider the words of Paul about human nature in Romans 1 and 5. In Romans 1, he teaches that our nature has been radically corrupted and we are born into the world with that corrupted nature. In Romans 5, Paul explains how this came to be. He says that through one man’s disobedience we all became sinners. Speaking of Adam, Paul explains that we are Adam’s children when we are born into the world. From birth we act like Adam – we sin like Adam. Over in the Old Testament, David states that it was in sin he was conceived (Psalm 51:5). And in Psalm 58 he states that the wicked are estranged from birth (58:3). There are statements like this in every book of the Bible, statements which describe our corrupted nature as sinners. And the thing about those statements is that they imply we are corrupted since birth. We do not become corrupted post-birth. We are corrupted from the very genesis of our existence!

    Just because we are born sinners doesn’t make us morally exempt, it doesn’t mean we won’t be held responsible, and it doesn’t make it God’s fault. It also doesn’t mean that people are born with an inclination towards specific sins or immoral lifestyles, either. The Bible doesn’t say that we are born in specific sins, only that we are born in sin. We will inevitably commit specific sins, but we are not bound to one sin over another – we are simply bound to sin (in a general sense). Obviously we will yield ourselves to all sorts of specific sins and immoral lifestyles, but that is not where our problem begins. Our problem begins with having a corrupted and sinful nature. So then, according to Scripture, people are not born gay, people are born sinners. You are not born gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or something else. People are born sinners and because of the internal and external influence of sin, some will be more inclined towards sexual immorality. Even if you were born with tendencies towards sexual immorality, that doesn’t make it right and doesn’t mean you should act on it. A person may have a greater susceptibility to homosexuality because of the internal and external influence of sin. Because of the desires of his corrupted heart, or the influence of his environment, or the temptations of the world.

    Second, there are logical problems with the claim that people are born gay. It is logically problematic to claim that you are born gay. Of course, the reason for such a claim is to suggest that one must not be responsible for his or her homosexuality since it was a part of them since birth. There’s a serious problem in the implication of that claim. The implication is that you are morally exempt on the basis of genetics. In other words, it must not be wrong if it’s a part of who you are from birth. But genetics do not trump morality. If I have a genetic tendency to be an alcoholic, that doesn’t make it morally acceptable. Also, no one would consider it morally acceptable for a person to be extremely perverse or violent even if they did have a genetic disposition to do so. Even if you are born with a predisposition towards something, that doesn’t make it right. Genetic makeup does not nullify moral responsibility. If Scripture says it’s wrong, it’s wrong. Even if you were born that way doesn’t change the Bible’s teaching or objective morality.

    Furthermore, the claim that you are born gay is also logically inconsistent. If you begin to apply that claim to other areas, it becomes easily recognizable that it doesn’t hold up. For example, if it is true that you are born gay, then how do you explain twins who have different sexual preferences? Their genetics are all the same, so why does one turn out gay and another turn out straight? Since they have identical genetics, they should always share the same sexual preference, according to those who make this claim. In other words, if you are born gay because of your genetics, then those twins should either both be heterosexual or homosexual. There is no room for one to be straight and another to be gay. They either have to both be straight or both be gay if their genetics are identical. And you can easily see that this is a problem. One may turn out heterosexual and the other not.

    Another way to see the logical inconsistency of this claim is to apply it to other predispositions. What if a person is born with a genetic disposition towards the hatred of homosexuals? If it is a part of their genetics, it cannot be wrong, based on their claim. If genetics solely determine sexual preference, then there can be no sexuality which is wrong. Being sexually attracted to monkeys, family members, or even children should therefore be just as morally acceptable. Obviously same-sex attraction (or anything other than heterosexuality) is not in the same category as those examples – the point is, when you begin to apply that claim to other sexual desires, it crumbles. And if the claim applies only to same-sex attraction, then it is logically inconsistent and even biased. 

    Third, the scientific “proof” is incoherent and inconclusive. No matter how much research you conduct, there is no scientific proof for such a thing as a “gay gene.” There is no genetic evidence that people are born gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. The studies that have been done are extremely surface-level observations, and not actual chemical-developmental studies. The studies they have done are on adults, who have lived homosexual lifestyles for a long period of time. Researchers think that it is some profound discovery that homosexuals have homosexual desires. The only way to get accurate proof would be to study a developing child in the womb and none have done so (because it’s inhumane and impossible). In one of the most massive studies of gay individuals, the leading researcher admitted that even if such genes were found, they would have a very small effect and being gay would depend largely on environment. How is that conclusive proof? Other researchers state that if one has the so-called “gay gene,” it doesn’t even guarantee he will have homosexual tendencies. If it only increases their chances, but doesn’t guarantee anything, then how is that conclusive proof? The claim that you are born gay also introduces problems for the theory of evolution. For the naturalists conducting these studies, who firmly believe in evolution, how is same-sex attraction beneficial for human survival? If it is part of genetic makeup, it is either a problem from which we have not evolved, or it is something our species has evolved into for its own good. That stings either way you go. If it’s a genetic problem, then it is our duty to find solutions to fix it. If it’s a genetic good, then you would have to explain how non-reproduction helps the survival of the human race. 

    Fourth, saying that it is a choice doesn’t exactly resolve the issue. Something else to consider is that being homosexual is not as simple as a decisive conscious choice. There are conscious choices involved, most certainly. But there is clearly not just one decisive choice. There is always a conscious choice involved when you act on your sin, but it is not as though a person decides on a particular date in time that they will become homosexual. There is no decisive moment in a person’s life when they become gay. One simply has a pattern of giving in to the sin of sexual immorality and the longer that pattern continues, that person becomes characterized by the sin they commit. A person who lies compulsively does not make an appointment to become a liar. They become a liar through the continual act of lying. There were conscious choices made in their telling of lies, but there was no one-time decisive choice whereby they became a liar at that very moment.

    Fifth and finally, how should Christians approach the issue? We are often mistaken in thinking that heterosexuality is the answer to this issue, but it is not. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the answer because it is the power of God for salvation (Rom. 1:16). We need to be a friend to anyone in the LGBTQ community, and we need to love them. Admittedly, it is far easier to sit in the judge’s bench when it comes to this issue. And it is far more difficult to express sincere love and concern. But we must avoid critical, overbearing, and unloving judgment, and we must pursue loving such individuals. Of course, part of the way we love them is telling them the truth. We must tell them the truth about their spiritual condition, the truth about God’s holiness and wrath, and the truth about Jesus Christ and His accomplished work. We don’t have to try to change them, the gospel will do that (1 Cor. 6:11).

    Those who believe they are true Christians while practicing and condoning homosexuality must be evangelized with the gospel as well, since they demonstrate unbelief by their actions (1 John 3:4-10). There’s a difference between struggling with it in order to overcome, and approving, condoning, or proposing it (Rom. 1:32). A person truly saved will make a decisive break with that behavior though he may still struggle with it. On the other hand, a person who is unrepentant is unsaved.

    So, what does the Bible say about being born gay? All persons are born with a natural inclination towards sin, but this doesn’t make sin right or God’s fault. And persons are not born into specific sinful lifestyles, and even if they were, it doesn’t make it right. Additionally, there is no scientific evidence to support such a claim.

    What Does the Bible Say? is a question and answer series which seeks biblical answers to pressing questions.

    26219980_2002699353334045_1898487006197556984_n.jpgBrandon is the founder and main contributor to Brandon’s Desk, the blog with free Christian resources from his ministry. He is proud to be the pastor of the family of believers at Locust Grove Baptist Church in Murray, Kentucky. He and his wife Dakota live there with their dog, Susie.

    Podcasts

    From the Desk Podcast #5 with Guest Bro. Michael Chadwick

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    February 20, 2016

    Can you be gay and Christian? Will God send me to hell if I’m gay? Can you have friends who are gay? What if I struggle with homosexuality? Get answers to these questions and more on today’s episode of the From the Desk podcast, with guest Michael Chadwick joining us today.

    News, Perspectives

    Further From Equality Than We’ve Ever Been

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    Bullying hurts. We all had that one bully during grade school that no one liked. A bully was usually someone bigger than us who was making fun of us, putting us down, threatening to beat us up, or take our lunch money. Bullying has really progressed through recent decades. My generation has lived through the uprising of what is known as “cyber-bullying” where bullying can be done via social media and the internet. But I believe bullying has taken on a different form than student to student, as was in my school (and likely yours).

    We are seeing today more than ever, what I believe to be bullying disguised as “equality,” or “equal rights.” Different groups have been fighting for the past couple of years for what they refer to as equal rights or equality, but at the same time, the greater majority of our nation is being bullied. Thousands of people in this nation are having their God given, and constitutionally mandated rights either taken away, infringed, or ignored.

    Yet at the same time, this is called “equality” for those who are gaining dominance over others who are having their rights infringed. But how can it be equality for all when someone else’s rights and privileges granted to them by God and by the Constitution are taken away, infringed, ignored, or even obliterated?

    Let me illustrate how this has been happening for decades, and has culminated in recent days.

    First of all, unborn children who haven’t even had the chance to receive their birth certificates, are immediately denied the most important right of all because they are seen as “a collection of cells,” or “inconvenient.” What is this most important right? The right to life. There are about 3,315 abortions daily in the United States alone.¹ Does that sound like equality to you? The world considered it a damnable atrocity when the Nazi Regime took the lives of over 11,000,000 Jews, homosexuals, children, and disabled people – and those people had already been born.² But an unborn child is denied the right to live, and it’s mother is told by organizations like Planned Parenthood, that “options are available.”

    Equality is not defined as, “when the helpless and unborn are denied the right to life by those bigger than them.” That is murder. That is bullying in the highest degree possible.

    Secondly, notice the so-called “equality” taking place in the marriage realm of our country. The Supreme Court ruled not long ago that all states must recognize same-sex marriage, and that states cannot deny or ban same-sex marriage within their own state.  This decision was celebrated all over the country on the day it was publicized, but as with anytime someone is bullied, the “little guy,” is taking a beating. Who is the “little guy” whose rights are being ignored, taken away, or infringed? How about the Kentucky clerk, Kim Davis who is now being jailed for denying marriage licenses to same-sex couples?³ How is that equality for those whose conscience cannot allow them to do so? It is a violation of one’s right to believe what they want to believe.

    Or what about Aaron and Melissa Klein who were ordered to pay $135,000 for refusing to bake a gay wedding cake?4 They were punished for not participating in a wedding that violated their conscience. That doesn’t sound like equality, that sounds like bullying. That’s $135,000 that could have fed their family, or sent their children to college, or paid their bills. Instead, they lose that amount of money, in addition to their right to believe what they want to believe. Bullying happens when someone bigger than you oppresses you because they have the upper hand. And bullying can lead to tyranny in the political realm. That’s clearly what has happened here.

    There are plenty of other examples I could give where bullying is disguised as “equality,” in our nation but I’d like to close with a few suggestions on what Christians can do in light of this discrimination taking place.

    1. Prepare for persecution. You had better get ready. History is doomed to repeat itself, and a day is coming sooner than ever where we will see an exact replica of the persecution that took place in the early church. Christians were imprisoned for their faith. One was sentence to jail just today. Don’t think you won’t see more and more of this in the coming days – you will. If believers are still on the earth at the time when this climaxes, we will need to mimic the same practices of the current underground churches in China, Vietnam, India, and other countries where Christianity is illegal.
    2. Preach the gospel more than ever. As a minister, I am concerned, saddened, and even angered that we are being bullied and our God given rights are being infringed, and plain ignored. But at the same time, my love and concern for souls who need Christ is stronger than ever. We should continue to preach the gospel to every creature (Mark 16:15), and do so with more diligence and perseverance, than we ever have before.
    3. Pray for and support those standing up for the faith. Christians all over the country are standing up for their faith, and for their Constitutional rights. They need our prayers and encouragement. We need to stand with them.

    “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people” (Proverbs 14:34).

    1. “Abortion Facts.” Abortion No, https://www.abortionno.org/abortion-facts
    2. “11 Facts About the Holocaust.” DoSomething.org, https://www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-holocaust
    3. Blinder, Alan “Deputy Clerks to Issue Gay Marriage Licenses in Kentucky.” The New York Times. Sept. 3, 2015.
    4. Starnes, Todd “Christian bakers fined $135,000 for refusing to make wedding cake for lesbians.” Fox News Opinion. July 3, 2015.
    Bible Questions

    You’ve Got Questions: What is the Purpose of Marriage?

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    Marriage is among the most weighty, yet heart-warming teachings in the Bible. Many people do not perceive it to be this way, but marriage presents theological truths in ways that nothing else can.  And despite the attempts in our culture today to redefine marriage, God has established the standards for marriage, with its many purposes. From these purposes, it can be easily seen that any attempt to redefine marriage by any other standard will fail and cannot legitimately be called marriage. Since God created and ordained marriage, we are not the determiners of what is right and wrong in marriage—God is. So then, among these purposes for marriage revealed in the Scriptures are:

    Procreation

    One of the most important purposes for marriage is procreation, that is, populating the earth. God says in Genesis 1:28, “And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth . . .” Necessary for populating the earth is a man’s seed and a woman’s womb. This is because God created man and woman to complement each other in every way, and through sexual intercourse, children are borne to men and women (Psalm 127:3-5). This is one of the foundational purposes of marriage.

    Companionship

    When God finished His creation work, the author of Genesis says, “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” (Gen. 1:31a). Something interesting happens when God takes Adam and puts him in the garden to “work and keep it” (2:15). We read, “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him” (v. 16). Notice that God saw that it was not good for man to be alone. So God made Eve from Adam’s rib and Adam liked what he saw! Adam said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (v. 23). Then, the author states that the very existence of man and woman mandates marriage: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (v. 24). So one of the purposes for marriage is companionship. God created man to be in companionship with woman. This is another way they complement each other. God’s purpose in marriage is lifelong companionship—being in union with another human who shares your cares and burdens, laughs and tears.

    Family

    A third purpose for marriage is family. Many people do not take this into consideration, but family is God’s idea. Malachi 2:15 demonstrates this purpose, perhaps better than any other passage of Scripture. Malachi says, “Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring” (2:15a). One purpose of marriage is to create a stable home in which children can grow and thrive. Marriage should create an environment where a child can be taught, loved, disciplined, and grow in the faith. If family were not God’s plan, the church would lose its relevance and would likely not exist, for it is “the family of faith” (Gal. 6:10).

    Sexual Purity

    A fourth purpose for marriage is for sexual purity. In our world today, as in Bible times, sexual temptation runs rampant. The Bible says that the ultimate cure for sexual immorality is marriage: “But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2, emphasis mine). There are temptations all around us, and because of this (not being the only reason) men should seek wives, and women should seek husbands. Our sexual desires should be fulfilled by our spouse. This is because sex within the bounds of marriage is honorable and right in the Lord’s sight: “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Heb. 13:4).

    The Gospel

    This is the grandest purpose of marriage. This is where the Bible’s teaching on marriage is at it’s highest peak. According to the Bible, the purpose of marriage is to represent Christ’s unbreakable, covenant love for His church, the Bride of Christ. Paul says in Ephesians, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (5:25). This statement is doubly informative. First, it tells us how husbands should love their wives. They should love their wives like Christ loved the church. Second, it tells us how Christ loved the church. Here, marital love informs Christ’s covenant love, and Christ’s covenant love informs marital love. That is, the way a husband loves his wife is how Christ loves the church, and the way Christ loves the church is how husbands should love their wives. This tells us that, just as a husband has an exclusive, unbreakable love for His wife, so Christ has an exclusive, unchanging, unbreakable love for His church. And this theological truth only works with a Bride and Groom (Rev. 19:7-8). Anything that seeks to redefine that standard for marriage is shattering the greatest picture of all: God’s own love for us in the gospel. That’s why marriage cannot be redefined.

    Those are the fundamental purposes for marriage as revealed in the Scriptures. No legal document or equality-rally can thwart God’s purposes for His divine ordinance. He alone has authority to say what is right and wrong in marriage. We see from these what we should pursue in our own marriages, and if we are engaged, what we should prepare for.